It's funny how negative many Asian cultural roots are. Despite any range of distance from the heritage, I consistently hear these conversational notes which would otherwise be considered tragically rude in most other cultural contexts:
- Oh! Did you get fat? (translated: gain weight)
- I see you got older.
- Wow! You're too skinny.
- Why are you working? Why don't you become a doctor or something.
- Why are you still in school? Weren't you working before going to school... again?!
Nonsense like that. It's just so strange to me that when you approach anyone of the "old culture" with something negative in hopes to get some positive or constructive guidance, they actually manage to make it far worse. Further catastrophizing your fears, making you feel that your situation is more hopeless than it already is, and reminding you that failure up to this point is simply because you failed to listen to them.
The irony is, more likely than not, you got here because you listened to them. And yet, you're still listening.
There's a saying:
And, I agree.
I feel this swings two ways. First, if negativity is all that's there... it's time to stop listening. Secondly, if you're the one giving out the negativity, it's time for you to shut up and remember what Thumper learned.
If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.